The Holy Walking Miracle of ZilianOP

(Note: this article was originally written for Encyclopedia Dramatica and can be found here.)

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On April 5th, a holy miracle occurred live on the Internet. As twitch.tv gamers watched, God Himself reached down with his magical probing finger and healed a crippled man on webcam. Jesus Christ returned the power of walking to a pasty-faced neckbeard’s two useless legs confining him to a wheelchair.

With his legs healed by the Holy Spirit, Angel Hamilton (known online as ZilianOP) stood up from his wheelchair during the twitch.tv Diablo 3 webcast in which he was gaming, took off his headset, and walked off-screen (presumably to thank the Lord in private). Unfortunately, it appears the omnipotent power of God is worth jack-shit these days because ZilianOP soon reappeared on webcam, back in his wheelchair, claiming he had fallen because “his dog was dumping water on his wires”. This weak-sounding excuse of canine sabotage causing the thin and pasty-skinned Mr. Hamilton to achieve vertical momentum lead many viewers to believe he was faking his disability in order to suckle monetary donations from the sympathy-filled teat of compassionate twitch.tv gamers. Said donations and streaming income reaching over the tune of $20,000.

So either we believe God actually made the lame walk and we have definite video proof of said divine miracle, or ZilianOP forgot for a crucial moment his ass was supposed to be in his wheelchair, presumably had a Oh Shi-!!! moment after walking off-screen, and returned on the channel’s broadcast back in his wheelchair in the fervent hopes no one noticed.

Unfortunately, ZilianOP had two pieces of bad news waiting for him: one, God didn’t heal him because either God doesn’t exist or ZilianOP’s legs worked just fucking fine, and twoeveryone had noticed:

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Immediately after ZilianOP stood up from his wheelchair and locomoted his ass off-camera by his own two good feet, his girlfriend Breanna, also known as Panthoria (whom knew he was faking his disability) exclaimed very loudly, “OH MY GOD!” in the voice chat channel, obviously in shock at seeing her stupid boyfriend forgetting that he was supposed to be crippled. She then tried to cover her shocked vocal outburst by launching into a strange, rambling story about going to an aquarium and a dog peeing on her (obviously the same dog that enjoyed dumping water on ZilianOP’s wires). Hoping this ribald tale of classic adventure would distract the other twitch.tv viewers in the chatroom, Pandoria immediately began to cover for ZilianOP’s ass, stating that “Angel threw himself out of his chair to grab the water” his dog had just presumably spilled. How someone grabs water in the first place is debatable, besides the impossibility of a dog somehow carrying a load of water with the intent of shorting out his stupid master’s computer.

Well, news about ZilianOP’s deception spread to pretty well every twitch.tv gamer faster than your white mama spreads for the eager negro mailman. As ZilianOP’s former philanthropic friends started freaking out about the hoax, Pandoria still continued to lie about her boyfriend’s “disability”:

Now her excuse for ZilianOP was that he was in physical therapy because “he doesn’t want to be chair bound for the rest of his life”. Presumably ZilianOP was planning to surprise everyone after months and months of holding himself up between two wooden parallel bars while a trainer screamed at him to take another step, just one more step. Of course if he had actually gained mobility through therapy, ZilianOP most likely would have asked for everyone’s attention in his twitch.tv channel to watch him slowly stand up. The resultant tears and donations would have flooded in! Instead, ZilianOP chose to show the medical miracle of him walking with no warning at all. And only for about two seconds before he returned on webcam back in his wheelchair. Physical therapy my fat ass.

It seems ZilianOP has gone into hiding, yet Breanna continues to defend him with outright LIES. In the following chat log she goes by the name, “Purple Gurple”. The person she’s speaking to – “Lusts” – is a popular and honest gamer on twitch.tv, and he is very angry at the whole sordid affair:

Ripping off his online friends of real money wasn’t good enough, however. Before he was caught faking his disability, ZilianOP broke the twitch.tv website’s rules of not allowing bots by… yup, you guessed it, using bots to collect Diablo 3 in-game gold. He was temporarily banned from twitch.tv for such cheating; however, when ZilianOP returned, he continued to bot using another account that hadn’t been detected by twitch.

Fortunately for us, ZilianOP wasn’t afraid to talk about his botting ways, and evidence was screenshot for posterity:

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ZilianOP’s name is worth shit now, so no doubt he will start using a new handle. No one knows if he will find new ways to lie, cheat, and steal money from gullible gamers. One fact is definate, though: there are A LOT of people all over the world now who would LOVE to put ZilianOP in a wheel-chair for REAL.

On Sept, 23 2014 ZilianOP tweets from his primary account after over a year of inactivity only to announce he has now returned to streaming on Hitbox, no attention is given to ZilianOPs Hitbox stream. On Oct 7, 2014 ZilianOP uploads a hardly sincere “apology” video . His stream info box on Hitbox later displays an image referring to his viewers points as “wheelies” which on confrontation he and Pan admit they find funny to their viewers, viewers who disagree are timed out and the music on stream is changed to “Im Shipping Up To Boston – Dropkick Murphys” which features the lyrics “And I’ve lost my leg. Climbing up the top sails. I lost my leg!”

A class act, all around.

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