This is the only type of math problem I really understand, and it had to be a meme…
Baby to Toddler Years:
EF = G, where:
Eating Food (EF) = Good (G).
CP = G, where:
Cute Puppies (CP) = Good (G).
EP = (-G), where:
Eating Puppies (EP) = Not Good (negative G)
Childhood Years:
Just one grim example of the incredibly safe toys I desired to own in my childhood. They’re not lawn darts, they’re flying lobotomies.
NT + (∞ x W) = P + NT, where:
My desire for a new toy (NT) + (infinity (∞) multiplied with whining 
= parent purchasing new toy (NT).
E = MC², where:
E = Eating;
M = Me;
C² = Contents of Fridge.
BF + ST + LP = ∞ x FP, where:
BF = Bare Foot;
ST = Stepping On;
LP = Lego(tm) Building Brick;
FP = Pain
Know your enemy.
Teenager Years:
(BBQF + D) x (LM) = (BOOM + (-E) x pi) x (20), where:
BBQF = BBQ Fluid;
D = My Dad;
LM = Lit Match;
BOOM = Minor Explosion;
E = Eyebrows of all living creatures within 20-foot radius.
A = F – NM + H, where:
A = Alcohol;
F = Fun;
NM = Next Morning;
H = Hangover.
GET + S = BF x (pi*radius^2*length) + AF + IFE, where:
GET = Dad bellowing at me to GET him a beer;
S = Shaking the beer bottle;
BF = Erupting Column of Beer Foam;
AF = Annoyed Father;
IFE = My Innocent Facial Expression.
Googling “funny drinking” brings up lots of pictures of drunk people, and this image. I’m going with this image. You’re welcome.
Adult Years:
H = (-H), where:
H = Hair.
Internet Slacker 